brush your shoulders off

11:54 am: sing me a song until the morning comes
i can say that fall is officially here. it is blessing us with its presence for the first time this year. how glorious. yesterday i walked around. not so unusual you might say, but really i never walk anywhere. my impatience and rushed life leads me to a steal horse most of the time. yesterday was different. ramona and i walked. we met nelly and olga at a russian festival. we stopped to sit and drink coffee. did i mention that i drink coffee now? it was overcast and chilly and i was wearing a vest and it made me fall in love. i am falling more and more in love everyday. it is beautiful because He is teaching me how to do that. i really think that i am starting to understand, for the first time in my life, what love is. and ellie is handing me this tiny ceramic tea cup, asking "sugar dede?" she calls me dede, and we love to have tea parties. i never expected to love someone elses child this much. i cannot even comprehend the love that i am going to have for my own offspring. dang i am such an emotional pile of skin and bone. i do not really know where i am going with any of this. i guess i just felt like sharing a little bit of what is in my head right now. just a little bit though, i cannot give away all of my secrets. let us love one another, and hold each other up.

11:04 pm: just in case.....
anyone wants to keep track of me in coming weeks......

august 1-14, road trip with lindsay and shayna to sarasota, fl

august 16-september 5, euorpe

heck yes.
xoxo

12:40 pm: come out and play
heck yes i am seeing hova tomorrow.

12:51 am: i moved!
new address:
lindsey carolyn drown
1422 n. 4th st.
philadelphia, pa 19122

use it.

12:47 pm: she'll be riding six white horses
i just got done writing this long detailed description of my summer plans, and then internet explorer quit. maybe i am being taught a lesson.

final decision for my trip to euorpe: norway and sweeden. that will be a two week solo excursion, and then i will be meeting up with my dad and step mom in the netherlands for a week. who knows, maybe there will be some norwegian dudes looking for an american wife. i am game.

01:03 pm: this too shall pass
i just put ellie in her crib to take a nap. at the moment she is singing twinkle twinkle little star. maybe she is not ready for a nap. maybe she will sing herself to sleep. she walked around all morning wanting to tell me secrets. so i would bend down, and she would whisper babble into my ear. she is kind of a terror these days, but things like that make up for it. her and i will be spending a lot of time together this weekend. mom and dad are going to jamaica, so we will be chillin hard from thursday night to monday night. if anyone feels like keeping me company, let me know. you might be thinking, i thought lindsey was moving this friday.... yes, you are right, i am moving. i, the nanny, have to get a babysitter, so i can move my belongings into the new house on friday afternoon. pretty wild eh? trust me, it is all worth it in the end. i get tuesday and wednesday off, plus a hefty check. tuesday i plan on painting the new room and unpacking. wednesday i will be going to new york to get my leg worked on, which is long overdue. i have this horrible habit of writing down every detail of everything. is it neccissary? probaby not. being so detail obsessed is the bane of my existance. it just drives me crazier than i already am.


i wish that i was able to not care.
i wish that i would not size up every person in my life,
new or old,
deciding weather or not i could marry them.
everyone says it is normal.
maybe it is.
reguardless,
it is driving me more and more towards insanity.
Lord let me be patient and carefree.

09:25 am: neh neh neh
my favorite part of yesterday:
i was driving home from family dinner, exiting the freeway.
sorry, the highway.
anyway, these two creeps in the car to my left rolled down their window and were trying to talk to me.
my music was loud, and of course i was not trying to listen to them.
the light turned green, so i boned out, and so did they......
but the car in front of them had not moved yet!
these tools totally got in a car accident, trying to scam on me.
serves them right.


i am the proud owner of a banjo.
i do not think i have ever wanted to be good at something so bad.
i have a few calls into some people about lessons.
i told nelly that i would have an album recorded for her when she gets back from india....
i gotta get movin'.
i i i i i..... too many i's.
i am excited.
damn, another i.

10:22 am: bring it back down
friday-----> saturday


nelly
lauren
china town bus
nyc
central park
amy carrigan
coney island..... in case you were wondering, everything was closed on coney island
caramel apples
the beach
the pier
fred
sea
that one spot by the river
vitamin water
fred's fire escape
that noisy bunk bed
bagels on the square
the dog park in washington square
china town bus
i. goldberg for the first time
indian food
home
shower
built to freaking spill.... for free


pictures of the trip will be up on flickr by tonight.
i love coney island.
xoxo

09:22 am: you might sleep but you never dream
for about the last week, or since i have returned from the west, i have been finding myself smiling quite often. it is a pretty wonderful thing to realize that you are happy, and appriciating life. i mean nothing happened. i just feel this great peace. how lovely that God is so amazing, and i am far from it.....

11:08 am: the past month in a nut shell
my mom and my sister were here visiting from ca april 1-8.
then we all flew back to ca, and i was there april 8-17.
it was really good to see my family.
it was really good to come home.
it was really good to come home to such lovely weather.
it is really good to call philadelphia home.
tuesday april 19, jesse, lois, and i went to look at a house.
that night jesse and lois put an offer in on that house.
wednesday april 20, jesse and lois got the house!
we move in june 17th.
praise be to God.

in other good news.....
there is a digital camera in the mail on its way to me.
last night i saw damien jurado play for the first time.
this really good bad called two gallants opened for him.
did i mention that i went alone?
the whole thing was amazing.
tonight i am going to see bonnie prince billy.
i am taking lauren to dinner and the show as a late birthday present.
things are good.....

02:20 pm: this is all there is to do in ca

</table

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	lindsey carolyn drown
Birthday:	march 29, 1983
Birthplace:	ventua, ca
Eye Color:	blue
Hair Color:	red
Height:	5'5
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right
Your Heritage:	german, scottish, english, russian, polish
The Shoes You Wore Today:	cow boy boots
Your Weakness:	southern accents, beards, tattoos
Your Fears:	worms/snails/slugs
Your Perfect Pizza:	spinach
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	dulah certification
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	haha
Thoughts First Waking Up:	i am usually not thinking
Your Best Physical Feature:	feet
Your Bedtime:	too late
Your Most Missed Memory:	right now i miss philadelphia
Pepsi or Coke:	neither
MacDonalds or Burger King:	neither
Single or Group Dates:	any date would be nice
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	sun brewed tea, no sugar
Chocolate or Vanilla:	chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	neither
Do you Smoke:	never have
Do you Swear:	sometimes
Do you Sing:	not well
Do you Shower Daily:	yes
Have you Been in Love:	yes
Do you want to go to College:	no
Do you want to get Married:	heck yes i do!
Do you belive in yourself:	not enough
Do you get Motion Sickness:	no
Do you think you are Attractive:	not usually
Are you a Health Freak:	a little
Do you get along with your Parents:	yes
Do you like Thunderstorms:	yes
Do you play an Instrument:	no
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	yes
In the past month have you Smoked:	no
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	no
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	yes
In the past month have you been on Stage:	no
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	no
Ever been Drunk:	yes
Ever been called a Tease:	no
Ever been Beaten up:	no
Ever Shoplifted:	no
How do you want to Die:	in my sleep
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	a wife and mother
What country would you most like to Visit:	ireland
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	blue
Favourite Hair Color:	dark
Short or Long Hair:	secretly i love long hair, but short hair is cute too
Height:	tall
Weight:	more than i weigh
Best Clothing Style:	whatever
Number of Drugs I have taken:	zero
Number of CDs I own:	who knows
Number of Piercings:	nine
Number of Tattoos:	legs are done ankle to knee, two on my back
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	never regret
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Current Mood: drained

Current Music: bonnie prince billy

2 comments | Leave a comment

09:25 am: i aint gonna hurt nobody
thank you to everyone who made my birthday a lovely day.
xoxo

10:09 am: why don't you build her a cake or something?
today i woke up to a text message from jaymee.
the family that i work for gave me the most delicious chocolate treat this morning...... and i just ate it for breakfast.
also, the mom knitted me this awesome thing.
i forget what it is called, but it is awesome.
lois called me.
nelly called me.
today:
so far so good.

10:56 pm: you're my favorite rolling stone
the new over the rhine album comes out on my birthday, which is this tuesday, in case anyone did not know....... i mean about the new album coming out. this would be the best birthday present ever. well second best. lois made me a zip up that says my name on the front and has an iron on of wild horses on the back. that is the best birthday present ever.

10:46 am: did i forget to mention?
this morning i had two new messages in my inbox.
both of them informing me that someone had a dream about me last night.
dream number one: "you were being projected onto a huge fuzzy screen, and i commented out loud, i never realized how beautiful lindsey is. sorry there was no making out."
dream number two: "i had a dream last night that you were my girlfriend and we were making out."

it is a good thing that we do not have control over our dreams..... or i might be seriously creeped out.

10:43 am: a whole lot of nothing
yesterday was a hard day, filled with fighting, anger, hurt, disgust, disapointment....
i hate fighting.
especially with people that i love very much.
i also hate finding out things like i found out yesterday.

did you know that yesterday i was scolded twice?
once by someone for being impatient.
once by someone else for being nosey.
guilty as charged.
i guess i need to work on some things.

last night was pretty decent considering how bad the day was.
the keenan's, nelly, and i made dinner at the house.
it was the first awesome home cooked meal that any of us had had in a long time.
thank you lois.
then we went to kareokee.
where i proceeded to mope around the whole time, because i cannot sing.
honestly, i get really upset about it.
who am i???
getting depressed at kareokee..... pathetic.

come on and hit me with your best shot.
fire away.

05:14 pm: so excuse me, if i break my own heart tonight
it is 68 freaking degrees outside right now.
ellie and i spent the afternoon swinging and rolling around in the grass.
i am addicted to it like you would not believe.
last monday we had our second biggest snow storm of the winter.
it is supposed to rain tomorrow and snow again by thursday.
all of this back and forth is making me crazy.
though the east coast has made me appriciate seasons.
the winter is amazing.
but this taste of spring.....
has got me excited for life.
being excited for life is something that i needed.
so thank you.

09:08 am: i love love love what you've got
so my grandma nan passed away yesterday morning. she has been kind of sick on and off for a while now, and i know that this is the Lord's will, but we are all very sad. it hit me a bit harder than i thought it would..... maybe because when my dad called to tell me, he was crying, and i have never seen or heard him cry in my life. i really want to be back in california right now, but i am trying to hold off for a day or two until i know when the memorial service actually is. you west coasters will be seeing me soon.


(this freezing cold wind makes me really want to be in ca too)

11:04 am: so this weekend.....
had some big valleys in it, but also some peaks.

the weiss wedding was saturday afternoon. i cannot ever really describe it. they pulled that thing together in three months, with little stress, and it was absolutly amazing. just goes to show what you can accomplish with the help of friends and family. we all pranced around in our dresses and ties, while snow covered the groud..... it was beautiful. there was sooooo much dancing. i was sore the next day.

sunday was sarah klein's baby shower, which was nice. the rest of the day sucked.

yesterday was awesome. i had taken the day off work to go to nyc with all of the out-of-towners, but then there was a snow storm. we decided it would be best to stay home..... and play in the snow all day! snowball fights, snow men, snow women, snow angels..... i love it. everything looks so pretty covered in snow.

today is a sad day. all of our friends are leaving town. the davison siblings, seth, skylana. roger leaves tomorrow. saying goodbye is never fun. i just looked outside and it is snowing again.

12:36 am: thorn bush in your path
i feel like life is a battle everyday..... and everyday i get a little bit closer to losing the battle.